The Sanctity of Marriage
God has set aside marriage for special purposes. Marriage is an important and fundamental relationship. We know this because God created it from the beginning with Adam and Eve (Genesis 2:20-25). He has always had laws for marriage, but man has always tried to go beyond God's wishes to make himself happy. There are some special challenges we face today. If we do not meet these attacks against marriage head-on and in every way we can, we risk becoming like Sodom and Gomorrah. It is the purpose of this tract to present some problems and then suggest ways in which Christians can help promote God's idea of marriage.
Martha Irvine from the Associated press writes that many couples are choosing to leave off marriage altogether. Others are delaying marriage indefinitely.1 Some choose this because of financial or housing arrangements. The Christian may find this appalling, but people in the world consider marriage a social contract without spiritual consequences. There are several practical ways a Christian can respond to this. One is to encourage those who can get married with God's approval (Matt. 19:1-9), to go ahead and do so. Secondly, we should refuse to refer to them as a couple or accommodate them as such until they make the marriage commitment. A Christian will insist that fornication be denounced from the pulpit, and that no exceptions are made in the church for those who are close family to church members. Too many Christians will speak out when it is in someone else's family, but will not be aggressive with teaching the truth in their own family.
Besides people living in fornication, another great concern is all the children we see living in broken homes or homes without both a mother and father-figure. According to the US Census Bureau, in 1980, 77 percent of all children under 18 lived with two parents; 73 percent did in 1990 and 69 percent did in 2000.2 The problem presents a unique challenge to the church. How will we get the children to come to church consistently without home support? The issue must be dealt with head-on. Each Christian should determine whether the neighbor they want to help is in a marriage situation they can help, or if the home is permanently apart. God desires one man with one woman (Ephesians 5:25ff) guiding their house according to God's rules (Ephesians 6:1-4). If we can restore the original marriage, we have done well. If there is no help for the separation of husband and wife (for example, he may be an abusive adulterer), then our main concern will be to see if we can get the innocent parties (children or innocent spouse) in church. Christians should encourage a stable home in which God is respected and Jesus is loved. Invite those from broken homes into you own home and show them this love by example.
The power of example will also help with another great problem in modern society—homosexuality. The war of values is being waged with homosexuals on various fronts. First, homosexuals tried to say that they couldn't help being homosexual. They claimed that God made them that way. However, God doesn't force someone to sin (I Corinthians 10:13 and James 1:13-15). Furthermore, God has always considered homosexual acts to be sinful (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27). Sodom and Gomorrah are left to us as an example of how God feels about sexual perversion (Genesis 18-19). It is not natural since God has never and would never make someone commit what He calls an "abomination." If you have a friend who is confused about sexuality or is homosexual, then reason with him. Let him (her) know that (s)he doesn't have to act on his temptations, just as a heterosexual doesn't have to become an adulterer. Secondly, homosexuals have been trying to get their relationships legitimized in society by demanding the "right" to get married. This is contrary to what marriage is by definition. Both of these problems stem from male children not knowing how men ought to act. Fighting this with the power of example means that men should supply positive role-models to boys, and women should do the same for girls. As a man, participate in manly activities with your boys and your neighbor's boys. This may mean being a part of Boy Scouts, having games of football, or just rough play and outdoor fun. All this teaches them how men act. Also, boys follow the example of older males around women. Your children should see that you are attracted to your wife, and that you are appreciative of the beauty of women in general. With respect to girls, mothers should surround their girls with things feminine. Soft and frilly things are not a sign of weakness, but are a part of the feminine nature. But if a girl becomes a "tom-boy," don't worry about it. Just make sure they understand the differences between a boy and girl. Such girls can be made to admire the traits of strong and athletic men—and may be attracted to them. There is nothing wrong with this.
The first thing we should teach our children to look for in a mate is love, both for God and for them. It is such love that will cause any marriage to be successful (Ephesians 5:25ff). Furthermore, many problems can be avoided in marriage by just marrying another Christian. This means looking for a mate who has believed and obeyed the gospel by repenting of their sin, confessing Christ, and being baptized for the remission of sins (Acts 2:38).
There are many other problems to overcome in this modern day: abortion, disobedience to parents, etc. But if we start the marriage off right, with both husband and wife loving God, then all will work out for the salvation of the whole family. Please read and study Genesis chapters 1-3, Deuteronomy 6:4-8, Joshua 1, Matthew 19, and I Corinthians 5-7.
—Tim McHenry, Minister for the Mt. Gilead Church of Christ
1Martha Irvine, "Some straight couples pick domestic partnership over a traditional marriage", Daily Herald, April 27, 2004.
2www.foxnews.com. "How Is Marriage Doing?" 5-14-04